Monday, January 7, 2008

Moving In

Well I have officially moved off of my friend's couch and into my own room. No more post midnight wake ups to the sounds (usually moans) of my room mate's sex-capades, no more sore necks, no more having to pretend that my room mates room is actually my room (as it turns out a 'room' is a prerequisite for most girls if you plan on copulating with them; girls...so shallow) and then having aforementioned room mate walk in, the next morning, to two strange shapes doing the dirty before his very eyes, in his very bed. Ah yes a room of one's own, and this time, finally, of my own.

Last semester my friends suggested that I move in with them, I asked if one of them was planning on moving out, (which would explain their suggestion, since it would mean they had free space), but I was then informed that they had a 'storage room' which they could clear out, and I would then be able to move into for a mere $150 a month. I knew that I wasn't going to find a better deal than that, and, moreover, I knew all of the people in the apartment, so I said hell yes, and pretty soon I was cleaning out one hell of a mess. Once all the crap was cleared out the room seemed much bigger than it had originally appeared and living in it seemed like a humanly accomplishable feat. I still didn't have any furniture though, so I spent the majority of my day searching for mattresses, which, because of both economic and spacial limitations, was a search for something in between a single and a double (which would take up the entire room). I searched on craigslist for a while and found a liquidation sale of mattresses advertising singles, twins, doubles, queens, and kings, with prices ranging from $25-$300, and it was only .08 miles away from me. I convinced one of my room mates to accompany me and we set out on what would turn out to be a 2 or more mile trek, which was ultimately unsuccessful as the store manager soon told me that he didn't sell singles or twins because they were profitless products, which were also usually piss stained because, as he put it, "singles and twins are for children" (aka there goes your chance of getting laid buddy). So we metroed back to Atwater (the mall near our house) and I had a strange--later realized to be brilliant-- thought: 'hey, why don't I buy an inflatable mattress?' We decided to look in Canadian Tire, which is sort of the Canadian equivalent for Wall Mart, only they don't hide the fact that most of their products have been returned at least 5 times, and opened that amount if not more, as the worn out strips of tape holding each openable end of the box often evinces. I got lucky though and found that they had 3 inflatable air mattresses, one you just had to plug into the wall and then switch the inflate switch, but that one was actually out of its box, so I decided to go for the one that was foot pump inflated, and had only three strips of tape keeping it sealed.

We brought it home, took bets on whether or not the foot pump was a) still in the mattress and b) if it was, if it would work. Sure enough, against all bets, some group effort, and a lot of gesticulations resembling a country banjo jig, we finally got my mattress inflated.

It fit perfectly, but was 6 inches in length shorter than me, but it was actually surprisingly comfortable.

I got teased by all my room mates because they suggested that I would have to go through that country banjo jig, every time I brought a girl home, in order to inflate it, by which time any sexual chemistry between us would definitely be deflated...

I nabbed one of my room mates broken sliding closet door and macgyvered it into a make-shift desk (using the paint cans as a foundation),

turned an old red blanket into my curtain, and found an abandoned book shelf in an ally near by to fill out the rest of my apt room space. I personally think the room looks great and I couldn't be happier, and I think my room mates are all jealous of my inflatable mattress, because I keep catching them on it. The first night I spent here was pretty rough, since the huge window in my room wasn't yet covered by the curtain I made, and I didn't know how to work the heating, so around 6am I became so cold that I ran and jumped into my room mate nearest mine's bed. I shook and shivered for a good 15 minutes, before I was back to a healthy tepid temperature. The next night I was shown how to work the heating and was thus able to make it through the night (it was actually warm enough that I had to balance my body temperature with the ol' one leg out one leg under the blanket insulation trick to find temperaturelibrium).

The smallness of my room doesn't bother me much at all,
because our apartment is massive, especially the tv room,


so my room will basically be a place for sexing, changing clothes, and sleeping undisturbed. My room mates are all awesome, two guys and two girls--I've tilted the balance in favor of the former (which will hopefully mean that the toilet seat stays up).

Should be a great semester.