Monday, December 3, 2007

How To Goodbye Depression

Blogger over at mindhacks came across this fantastic book by Hiroyuki Nishigaki, the full title: How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?

The reviews on amazon inspired quite a few laughs:

By Brian Williamson "euglena" (Seattle, WA USA)
I've only had this book for a day or so, and I haven't even thought about reading it from start to finish, but it is pretty gosh darn funny. At the end of the book, the author (Niroyuki Nishigaki) thanks everyone for "finishing reading what I have written in bad English." Bad English indeed! I'll share one of my favorite lines with you and if you think it's funny, I suggest you purchase this book.

"Besides shooting out a big blank from your buttock, you can feel as if your root chakra leaked sweet hot mucus."

That line doesn't make any sense, but it's pretty great. Sometimes I like to open the book up to random pages and read passages for a good laugh. Enjoy!

By A Customer
This book is better than lithium. I was depressed for years until I came across Mr. Nishigaki and his incredible anus book. I was skeptical at first, but after only a week of the recommended anus exercises, I could feel my spirits lifting, my buns firming and my blank-shooting ability reaching new heights. It's now been three months since I began the program, and I feel as if I've finally mastered my emotions. Nope, no more crying jags at the liquor store...for me. Instead, whenever I get down or feel as though I might need to abuse myself, I simply stop, concentrate on crushing the imaginary walnut in my anus and-BLAMMO!-all depressing and/or criminal thoughts are gone in a single squeaky fart. Of course, the resultant hemorrhoidal burning and itching can suck a bit, but I just think of it as the price one has to pay for rectal sanity.

And a response from the author:

By joeytonz (Sam's Town)
At first I thank you for the wonderful joy feeling readers of my book of books give me. I know you read book and like it, and this makes me warm. I am a author of this book. I make excuses for my bad English. It is not my language for first. Moreover, I see that the people laugh in this book. Is not a book of joke. This book is handsome and full of the good words, but see that people say book has attached laughs? It is a book which indicates in the reader for the anal constriction and how it profits those which tighten. The book that they fill of good advices, and I hope that the people it will employ for their improvement in the life. Moreover, I request you read of my other book. It is for the space voyage, or something. You that we thank

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